you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
