youre lurking in front of me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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