I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
