guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
