I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
