woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
