She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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