PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
