Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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