Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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