That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
