i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
