Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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