awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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