i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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