i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
