I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
