one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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