She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
