I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
