Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
