I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
