sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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