True but thats because hes a fetus.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
