I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
