Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
