it hurts more in the daytime
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
