This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
