Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
