What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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