Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
