My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize