How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
