Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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