Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
