Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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