"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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