Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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