Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
