you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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