I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
