You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
