If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nutella sex= disaster
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
