Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
