I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
