i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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