HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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