I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
