Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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