I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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