genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
