I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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