By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
