That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish you could order shots online.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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