loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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