Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
