Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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