4 words: hood of his car
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
