yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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