just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She told me I should be a condom model.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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