I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
