Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
