You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
