He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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