We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just invented taco cereal.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
