you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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