A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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