Pappa wants mamma naked
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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