doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
