One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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